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The difficulty in asking for help


Thankfully the world is full of kind people who make a point of saying to others, "please reach out if you need help".


But the realisation is that many of those burdened with mental health issues such as depression find themselves unable to do this, and either end up suffering in silence or in some instances tragically going down the route of self harm.


It seems that every week there's news of another person who's lost their fight with the darkness and decided to take matters in to their own hands by silencing the insurmountable pain once and for all, but at the cost of their own life and devastation to those closest around them.


Having experienced rock bottom, I can understand the pain and turmoil felt when there seems no other option but to end it all. That voice inside convinces you that everyone around will be better off without your misery and those who've previously offered help won't really understand how you feel so its a waste of time even contacting them. It isn't sadness or feeling low, its as though your entire being has been taken over by another entity. Your veins pumped full of suffering, and your brain can only see the worst in everything, quietly telling you lies.


"You're worthless, just give up" it whispers.....

Depression is a silent killer. Those suffering walk around smiling and laughing just so they can hide what's really going on inside. Just to convince everyone that things are ok when deep down all they want to do is curl up, tell you how much it hurts and they need help. But unfortunately that's the piece where we're failing miserably at and its costing lives.


You don't have to be a medical expert to care

Apart from having a supportive wife, I've been incredibly fortunate to have a small circle of friends to call on when things go south. They've seen me at my worst and heard me talk about how hopeless things appear at the time. But most importantly they've reached out to me to check in and see how I've been. For years I was utterly rubbish at asking for help and gradually my mood would get worse and worse until I was unable to function.


There is a self induced shame associated with telling others about how you're really feeling when things are low. Its an uncontrollable emotion, and despite all the best laid plans, you tell yourself that the only way out is to disappear from those around you.


The truth is that those suffering don't really want to end things, but it seems the only valid way to stop the pain that encompasses the mind and body. They just want someone to tell them it will be ok and to feel needed.


This is where you come in

Calling up a friend or popping round frequently can make all the difference to that friend or neighbour that's having a tough time. Yes this pandemic is making that a little tricky right now, but we're fortunate to have such technology available that communicating has never been easier.


So Remember......

  • If you're struggling with mental health, please try and tell someone. You don't have to suffer alone

  • If you know someone who's suffering, please reach out. It will make all the difference



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