Romanticise Your Day

I am not an optimist. Let me make that very clear! I am not an optimist. My brain is definitely a pessimist. My brain actively seeks out the worst in everything and focuses on the worst-case scenario in every situation. Some times that is helpful because if you don’t expect things to work out then you are not surprised when they don’t work out. But it is not a healthy way to live and can lead to you only seeing bad in everything.

About a year or so ago I saw something on TikTok which started a new line of thinking for me. This lady was talking about how they make the most out of every situation they are in, and how any situation can be turned into a way of practicing self-care. She spoke about “Romanticising Life”. The example that she used was in making a cup of tea. Don’t just make the tea and drink it like it’s a chore. Treat yourself to a cup of tea, lovingly brewed just the way you like it. Take the time to sit in your favourite spot. Enjoy feeling comfortable. Take in your surroundings. Maybe look out the window and take a moment to notice the leaves on the trees and the birds fluttering by. Enjoy the smell of the tea and the warmth it provides you with. Savour it. Indulge in it. Suddenly, you are not just having a quick cuppa to get you through the day. Instead, you are living in the moment and getting the most out of it that you possibly can.

It is important to savour moments. Life rushes by us so rapidly these days. Technology is wonderful, but it speeds up everything around us. Everything has to be done now, immediately, without a moments hesitation or thought. We are not meant to function that way. We are not robots in a factory line. We need to remember to take time for ourselves.

If you go for a walk, don’t just plod along. Take time to notice the birds and the flowers. The smells of the trees and earth. Take time to notice the vibrancy of even the tiniest flowers. (I highly recommend trying to find something in nature that matches every colour of the rainbow on your walk, it helps to focus your attention).

If you are in a café, don’t just sit staring at your phone. I mean, by all means pretend to stare at your phone if you feel awkward just sitting there. But if you listen to the chatter around you, you might just hear some of the funniest or dumbest, or most thought-provoking snippets of conversation out there.

Alice Walker wrote in The Color Purple ‘I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it. People think pleasing God is all God cares about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.’ – Now, religious views aside, I think it is important for us to take note of the positive things in the world, the beauty that there is everywhere. Life is hard, people are shit, work sucks, mental health is debilitating and chronic illness is a constant, never-ending, nightmare of an existence… but that does not stop the beautiful things in life from being beautiful.

That first sip of coffee in the morning, slowly bringing you to life and warming your cockles. The peaceful scent of lavender that filters through you and surrounds you like a blanket, lulling you to a more restful slumber. The playful, energetic chaos of squirrels chasing each other up and down a tree, like they are children playing a game of tag or peek-a-boo. Hot soup of a cold day, calming the last of your shivers and making your feel cosy through and through.

If you are having a crap day, my advice to you is to romanticise something. It doesn’t have to be much. Step out of your reality for a moment. Pretend you are in a romantic novel. Go for a walk and refer to it as partaking in a constitutional. Pretend your taking a stole along the promenade like some fancy young eligible person in Bridgerton. If you struggle to see the beauty in your surroundings, there is nothing wrong with a bit of make believe. Take your shoes off when you walk through the garden or woods and imagine yourself elf or fairy, out recharging and reconnecting with nature.

Like I said, I am not an optimist. I do not think a cup of tea will solve all my problems… although, tea does solve everything. I don’t think that romanticising life will fix things or resolve anything or make life thousands of times better. But it can make a difference. It can give you a break from the negativity.

Negative thinking can lead to negative attitudes that lead to negative outcomes.

The power of positive thinking is that it can break that cycle and lead to positive outcomes. But it is difficult, especially for me, especially with my brain constantly hurling worst-case scenarios at me at every given opportunity. So, I start small. It can take something as small as noticing how rich a purple the lavender is by my office, to add one positive thought into my otherwise rubbish day. Just noticing that one thing, having that one positive thought, means my day was not all bad, because wow that flower is beautiful.

Tonight, when the world is dark, and everyone is settling down. If your brain, like mine, is racing and listing all the millions of things it thinks you have forgotten about or need to do tomorrow, or just telling you how awful tomorrow will be, because how can it be anything other than awful. Go look at the stars. Go see them twinkling. The stars may be long gone, but that light has travelled all this way, so notice it. See its beauty. See the moon glow. Be present in that moment.

No matter what tomorrow brings, there will be beauty around you.

JT