Sun Pains

Fibromyalgia is vast and varied in its impact on its vessels. I have had all manor of weird and wacky flair ups, most of which resulted in me lying on the sofa desperately trying to find a comfortable position to be in for more than a minute while pain squiggled around my body. Normally my pain is worse as a result of me over doing it. Going for a walk that was just a little too long, or a little too up hill. Cleaning the bathroom, because how dare I? Or just trying to socialise for an evening.

I had an odd reaction once. For around a month I would end up covered in hives because my body decided that it didn’t like the chlorine in the pool. Never had that issue before, not had it again since. Just my body deciding it was bored of punishing my attempts at exorcising with pain, and deciding to switch it up with itchy hives for a while. Thanks for that.

There is one thing that is guaranteed to cause me to have a really bad time of it. One thing that will always, with out fail, cause me to feel heavy, exhausted, full of headaches and body pains. Hot, sunny days.

I don’t remember ever really having an issue as a kid, but as a young teen I do remember getting sun-stroke a few times and feeling miserable for days from it, but it was never like this and never resulting in pains. Then I became the quintessential moody teenager who lived indoors and hissed at the sun whenever I left my room.

For many years now, I have struggled on summer holidays. Each time I would spend the vacation feeling like I was wearing led vests all the time. My joints felt swollen and it was hard to move easily. I was constantly drowsy and exhausted. I could never do adventure holidays, or holidays with lots of walking. For our honeymoon we went to a wildlife park whilst on holiday, the place was huge, I loved it so much, but by the end of it I felt so sick. It took me days to recover from that, and I didn’t really recover until we had returned to the UK and the typical English weather.

It took me a long time to realise why this was happening. I was always told that sun was good for you. It gives you vitamin D and gives you energy and clears your skin and makes you feel less depressed. Really? Does it? Maybe, maybe in small amounts. But too much sun, too much heat makes me feel horrendously ill.

England does not get as hot as other places around the world. This is true. However, England is not built for heat. England is built for soggy weather. Our houses are designed to keep as much heat in them as possible. We do not traditionally have air-conditioning units in our properties. Very few properties have pools. You are lucky if you can buy a half decent fan anywhere. Oh, and the humidity! Anyway, point being, when heat is a problem for you, like it is me, being in England is normally a great place to be…but right now we are having a heat wave that just refuses to go away and stay away.

Today it was 33°C. Thankfully I spent most of my day in the office. I am very pleased to say that there is an air-conditioning unit in our office. However, I had to pop out for lunch. In the time it took me to get from the office to my car the impact of the heat had set it. I felt ill, heavy, tired, weak, and my thoughts became slightly scattered. The impact of the heat was so immediate that I knew my body would not shake that off easily. Once I got back to the office it took a solid hour before I felt alright again.

As I am writing this, it is 22:23 and still 25°C. I don’t have air-con in the house, although I do have a fairly decent fan. Everything aches. My head hurts - Yes, I have been drinking water – and my eyes are heavy in their sockets. My joints in my arms, legs, hands, feet, neck are all stiff and feeling out of sync with themselves. This has taken me so long to write because I keep miss-typing where my left and right hand are uncoordinated. But I wanted to get this down.

I know for some people with Fibromyalgia the hot weather is better for them. For me, I much prefer the colder weather. I mean, extreme weather is not good in either direction, but at least when its colder out I don’t feel like I’m trying to trudge my way through a vat of treacle.

Also, something else. This may be a controversial opinion, but when it is this sunny out, it makes me feel sadder. I was walking back into my office today and I noticed all the dead grass everywhere. Now, I love autumn. I love seeing the leaves changing colour and peppering the ground with their oranges and browns. So, what is the difference between that and the brown grass? One feels like the natural cycle of nature, the other feels like an obliteration. Maybe that is just me. Maybe the heat as got to me.

It's supposed to rain tonight. Hopefully, by the time this is posted, it will be significantly cooler.

Let it rain.

JT