We're Going Through Changes

This week has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. It will probably continue being that way for a little while. Currently the family is in the process of selling my grandma’s house. Her and my grandfather have had that house for the whole of my mother’s life. My granddad passed away a few years ago now, and my grandma is now in a care home.

My cousins, our parents and I have moved homes many times over the years. We don’t have our “childhood home” where we can go back when times are tough and find comfort in our old childhood bedroom. I see this happen in TV shows and films, and it seems like an amazing way to briefly step back from adult life, and recapture some of the simpler times of childhood. I am sure it is not all that picturesque a thing in real life. But it looks nice.

What we do have, though, is that house. That stable point. The one constant that is there no matter what.

That house has hosted mass family gatherings, many Christmases and New Years parties, Wedding anniversaries, celebrations and birthday parties. Oh, and the barbeques. Years and years of fantastic summer BBQ gatherings, eating way too much, drinking many glasses of wine… maybe a few too many glasses of wine.

Now, the house is empty. The last of the furniture is being removed. The belongings have been gone through, sorted, shared out or taken to charity. Each item briefly triggering a memory before moving to its new home.

Walking the floors of the house, in a state that it hasn’t been seen in since the day my grandparents moved in, feels sad and uncomfortable. You can feel the cosy familiarity of the home slip away as it becomes a shell of a house. Clearing out the old memories to make way for the new family to move in, allowing them space to make the place their own, and setting them up to be able to create their own attachments and memories.

Things can’t stay the same forever. The planet does not stand still. Motion is inevitable and with that comes change. Change may not be something everyone deals with particularly well, I know I don’t, but it is important for change to occur. Change enables growth.

On a slightly separate note…

The other emotional thing I faced this week was the death of Ozzy Osbourne. Now, it is a very strange thing to feel so sad about the death of someone you don’t personally know. It feels, at least to me, like it’s not my place to be sad. My heart goes out to his family and friends.

Ozzy and Black Sabbath have been a key feature of my life. It was a way for my father and I to connect, a link between us. He introduced me to the music whilst on car rides together, along with “Here is the CD, don’t let your mother catch you listening to it.” Which inevitably became my go to as a teenager, blasting it though the house, as loud as I could, any time my mum and I got into a big argument. – sorry mum.

For me, the news was heart breaking. He is a legend. Some kid from Birmingham who was always up to no good, found a love of music, joined a band, made some music, played some gigs, and launched a legacy of Rock that shook the world. The Prince of Darkness. Seeing him on stage with Black Sabbath in Birmingham with my dad was one of the best experiences of my life. Something I will never forget.

As you can see, my week has been full of emotion filled events and reminiscing.

It is good to remember the good times. It is good to take stock and look back every once in a while. But change is inevitable, so it doesn’t do to be stuck in the past. Change is hard sometimes, but it serves a purpose.

I’m sure I have a lot more change coming my way over the next few weeks. I will try my best to not dwell on the things I will be letting go of, and focus on the new things to come.

How do you do with change?

JT